Get Wedding Tips: Picking Your Bridesmaids – Madrinas

Whether you choose to have one attendant or six, the decision of who will be your supporting cast for the big day is important. Your wedding party will not only play a key role in the activities leading up to the wedding, and of course behind the scenes, but their presence will also be very sentimental to you. More importantly, these are the people that will stand side by side with you and your fiancé on the day you officially start your life together. Heavy stuff, right?

There are no rules when it comes to choosing your bridal party, though it makes sense that its scale fits your wedding ─ for example, a grand bridal party of a dozen attendants on either side might seem out of place at a casual, intimate wedding. Beyond the two witnesses that will sign your registry (traditionally the maid of honor and best man) your wedding party can take whatever shape you would like it to.

Guilt, fear of hurt feelings, and a sense of obligation can often creep into decisions of selecting your wedding party, so be mindful to take emotional inventory. Perhaps you were a bridesmaid in a friend’s wedding; that does not mean, however, that you are obligated to ask them to stand in yours. If you do not have any small children in your family that you are close with, do not feel compelled to wrangle two toddlers to serve as a flower girl or ring bearer just for the sake of having them. The decisions you make should be sincere and heartfelt, rather than couched in obligations or traditions.

As for concerns of having an equal number of bridesmaids and groomsmen, it is a notion that serves to produce a good deal of stress and little else it seems. If your best friend is a man, then who better suited to being your right hand? If you are extremely close to two friends and your fiancé is one of four brothers, then have at it ─ a perfect posse! The point is not to produce symmetrical photos but to capture your special moment with the people whom you couldn’t imagine your wedding without.

Questions to ask yourself:

· How long has this friend been in your life? Has the relationship stood the test of time?

· Have they consistently been a solid, rather than fickle, friend?

· Is your friendship a soulful one, or are you more social co-partiers?

· What is their relationship to your fiancé? Do they see all the great things in you and your fiancé’s relationship that you see in each of them?

· How logistically feasible is their bridesmaidship? Have they just embarked on six months of travelling?

· Do they have a baby due when you’re getting married?

If this friend is a true blue, longstanding comrade that knows you as an individual, appreciates your soon-to-be-other half, and free when you’re getting hitched, it sounds like they are just the person for the job. If there is someone you love dearly, but circumstances preclude him or her from being in the wedding party, they can absolutely still play a role leading up to the wedding. You could invite them to sit with your family and do a reading at the ceremony, include them in some special photos together or acknowledge them in a toast. Either way, there won’t be any hurt feelings as long as you communicate how much they mean to you and show your appreciation for them at the end of the day.

Have any more tips to share, let us know?

– By Valentina Valdez

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